Secret Life
by Schizoid Mouse
Summary: Robert Jurgen; rich, snobbish, and noble blader on the outside. Just wait till his friends leave, then the real Robert shows, along with a annoying Fairie God Sister who decides to butt into his love life and find him a lover Yaoi! Robert/Sanquinex
1. Default Chapter

.............................. LOOK AT THE WATER MIXED WITH SUGAR!  
  
Disclaimer: ................................... YOU THINK AN IDIOTIC, SCITZOPHRENIC, IN MENTAL NEEDED, HUMAN MOUSE OWNS BEYBLADE! Gosh, you need more help then I do if you think that.....  
  
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Robert Jurgen..................  
  
Only so many words can describe him.  
  
Noble...  
  
Rich...  
  
Snob...  
  
Excellent blader...  
  
And lonely....  
  
That basically summed up the life of Robert that a lot of people saw.  
  
But no one knew the REAL him. Not the bladers, Enrique, Oliver, or Johnny.  
  
All the servants knew and they never treated him any different.  
  
Robert, to the outside world, snobbish rich kid that needs an attitude change.  
  
To everyone that knew the real him.......  
  
God, he could give Tyson a run for being a normal kid.  
  
Yes, Robert acted like non-rich teens.  
  
He listened to Evanescence or Sum 41 and the occasional Enimen whenever Johnny, Oliver, or Enrique weren't over. He dressed in normal clothing like regular blue jeans and t-shirts with logos on them like Polo.  
  
He even owned a private in-home movie theater with the latest releases and his own personal favorites. Snack bar included with all the candy a 6 year-old brat could want.  
  
With his friends around, he would lock up his 'private' rooms to hide his secret. But when they left, a few minutes later he would be running around his castle, looking for his portable cd player.  
  
Okay, only one other blader knew about his secret. The one he lost to a few monthes earlier. Tyson of the Bladebreakers.  
  
To put it simple; Tyson got his ass lost again in the castle and walked in on Robert who was listening to Christina Aguilera's Fighter on his portable cd player in what looked like a private library. In order of not letting others know his secret, Robert had to show Tyson all his other things. The biggest cd collection most likely in the world, a damn big sound system, and of course the theater.  
  
Before the night was done, Robert and Tyson were taking turns on saying the lines to the movie Legally Blonde.  
  
Also, Tyson wanted to the prince's real bedroom.  
  
All I can say, the two went in and Tyson left a few hours later, hat on wrong and hair all messy. Need I go on with the details of what happened in there. No I don't you perverted little minded people.  
  
(A/N: *cough cough* *wink wink* *nudge nudge* OKAY FOR ALL THOSE IDIOTS WHO CAN'T TELL WHAT HAPPENED ALL I CAN SAY IS THAT THEY HAD FUN IN BED! Thanks for your attention. Back to the story.)  
  
Next day, the two decided to just stay at a friendship level since it was just for fun. But that didn't stop the phone calls, letters, and e-mails.  
  
Now to the present.  
  
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^  
  
(Robert's Point of View)  
  
"Master Robert."  
  
Just ignore him. He'll go away eventually.  
  
"Master Robert."  
  
............ Keep patient. He'll just leaving, I hope.  
  
"Master Robert!!"  
  
AWW FUCK!   
  
No! My feet are slippi-  
  
OWW! DAMNIT! Can't a guy get peace around here!  
  
Okay, it's not Gustav's fault that I had to resort to hanging upside on a bar in your closet so that people could stop bustling you! Maids......... Can't they see that I want to do stuff myself! I want get dressed myself! I want to pick what I want to eat! I WANT TO FRIGGIN TIE MY SHOES MYSELF!  
  
.................. My head hurts............ I need a hug........  
  
"Sorry Master Robert, but a letter has just arrived from Master Tyson," Gustav told me, holding out a letter from my reach.  
  
Tyson......  
  
TYSON!  
  
I instantly snatch the letter from him, said a polite thanks, and quickly ran out of my closet, through my room (not before grabbing my portable cd player and Evanescence cd) and making a dead run for the backyard.  
  
Who would of ever thought him and I ever have sex in my room.  
  
God, I think Johnny would fall over dead if I ever told him that. Wait, note, must tell and hope to hell he does.  
  
Hmm let's see. Private spot to sit. Under the tree, no. Up the tree, gods no, I fell last time I tried that.  
  
Hmm........... Eeny meeny minny moe......... Now where in hell shall I go?!   
  
AHA! THE OH SO SECRET BOULDER BY THE HUGE SECRET LAKE! Why didn't I think of that before. Oh because I was thinking of how Johnny would look twitching to death on the ground.  
  
Now to find the secret path to the secret place.  
  
OH WHY IN THE WORLD IS EVERYTHING SO SECRET?!  
  
Oh, there it is. Right near the big pine tree. Now what else was I forgetting. Oh yeah, it's a mile away. Damnit..........  
  
oh well, time to bring out the secret weapon! Damn, I love the secret weapon. To bad I dont use it as much since me and my 'friends' have become a team.  
  
As I enter my garage, I look at all the vehicles I own.  
  
"Hmm.... limo..... convertable......... helicopter...... hummer...... THERE IT IS! OH I THOUGHT I LOST YOU BABY!" I yelled, running over to my 'baby."  
  
................... A dirt bike.  
  
Okay, so sue me if I call a offroad motorcycle my baby, I can afford it.  
  
Okay, time to pad up. Safety first. Damn, now I sound like the head maid. Safety first dear, don't wanting you to smash into a tree and have your brains and internal organs all over the ground!  
  
And she had to say that at dinner too! She just had to make me spit out my fries. DAMN HER! Those were good fries too.  
  
Okay, I pocketed my cd player and cd, now to get on the chest pad.  
  
Okay got it, snap snap. Now the elbow pads... Got 'em. Now the wrist and gloves..... One, two, three, DONE!, and let's see. Knee pads and then the boots..... God! THAT WAS TOO EASY! I've been doing this so long I can do it in less then 5 minutes.  
  
Okay, my bike looks okay. No one has been messing with it. And the gas seems to be at the same level as it was when I last rode. Tires in good condition. Everything is. YAY! Now I can get out of here!  
  
I put the letter in my other pocket and hop onto the bike before starting it. Man, hear that engine roar. I rev up the engine one last time before I speed out the open garage door. I had to open it in order to get in for all the idiots who were watching me.  
  
One jump, two jump. Idiot gardner, bird bath. Man, being rich sure has it advantages...... Before you leave the garden and backyard all together and enter the woods.  
  
................................ Gawd, how long is this going to take. I need to read this VERY important letter from Tyson!  
  
.......................  
  
..............................  
  
........................................  
  
....................................................................................................... DAMNIT! JUST GET THERE ALR-  
  
Oh wait........ here we are! Patience is a virtue. Impatience is a god.  
  
Okay, now to find a big looking rock that smart people define as a boulder. Okay found it, now to get ontop of it................. Should of brung some rope of something but what would that do anyone good, I just have to hoist myself on up.  
  
Finally when I got comfy enough, I took off my helmet and pulled out my letter, quickly and carefully. I don't want to rip it.  
  
Okay, to others it may seem wierd, but I kinda love Tyson as a little brother. Even though we gotta it on, it was like a trial to see if we were meant for each other. Nope, never meant for each other. To bad, he was kinda fun under the sheets........ Wait, we kicked the sheets off the bed before the event.  
  
Anyway, so yeah. Back to the letter.  
  
I rip open the seal which had 'To Mr. Uncouth' written all over it in pink gel pen. Gawd, he could of atleast used rose pink, shocking pink really doesn't call out to me.  
  
Okay, this may sound lame, but I read all my letters aloud when I'm excited..... so umm yeah.... I hope no one is stalking me.......  
  
"Dear Robert..... Hey how's it doing over him Germany. I heard a rumor saying you were fecking Oliver."  
  
JESUS FECKING CHRIST! ME AND THAT GREEN ALIEN KID! ME AND HIM!  
  
God, that would be Heaven, but nah. I'd rather go to Hell.   
  
"But I know that would never happen. You two are just soooo different, Dude. Okay, on with my news. Kenny was caught making out with his laptop again when we heard Dizzy making some.... Naughty noises. Kai is still the same; with a stick up his ass and in need of a personality. Rei has been eying him for some time so yeah, me and Max have to be matchmakers again. Hey, it worked with Micheal and Lee!"  
  
....................... SO THEY WERE THE ONES WHO GOT THOSE TWO TOGETHER! Damnit! And I wanted to be the matchmaker but nooo, Tyson had to go and ruin all the fun for me again!  
  
"Oh, speaking of Max......... Well........ Umm......... We're together. Like we did. Listened to music, watched Legally Blonde, repeated the lines, and then, you know. All I can say is that he can't fuck like you can ^_~"  
  
Okay, I'm going red now. Why'd he have to compliment me on THAT! I want to keep that between me and the 'others.' WHAT IF THIS LETTER FALLS INTO THE CLUTCHES OF EVIL!   
  
AKA Enrique. The kid snoops around my place, looking around for any hints that I'm going out with anyone.   
  
"Oh, and just to tell you, we're madly in love and we have agreed to marry when we're at legal age. Meaning on his 19 birthday in a few years. Okay I gotta go now, Kai is being the usual pain and is ordering us around again. Love, Tyson. PS Better write my ass back or I tell."  
  
.............................................. Blackmailer...................................  
  
And I was planning on ignoring this letter. Why............  
  
Hint Hint! TWO PEOPLE ARE GETTING MARRIED AND ONE OF THEM WAS A GUY I SCREWED!   
  
Why I didn't like this, I don't know. I guess it's because Tyson was the only guy I really liked a lot. And now I feel like going to Japan and killing that little blonde kid... Brotherly instinct okay.  
  
But then I noticed something.  
  
Everyone was getting paired off.  
  
Tyson and Max.  
  
Micheal and Lee.  
  
Oliver and Enrique. God, can't they admitt they like each other or am I going to have to force them ino a closet and lock them in there.  
  
Rei and Kai. So noticable.  
  
And I can tell Johnny's with someone because I really don't think your plane can be late, every single time you come over and visit. If I charged him $100 dollars everytime he's late, I would be thousands of dollars richer.   
  
Hmm, I should try that.  
  
"But what about me.... There's no one for me," I whispered to the wind. Everyone was straight or taken.  
  
Man, does God hate me or something?   
  
"If he did, why am I down here?"  
  
............................................. Echoey voice. Neat! But where it is coming from.  
  
Maybe that strange cloud forming over the lake is a clue...  
  
And the screaming girl falling out of the cloud...  
  
Ouch, the sound of her hitting the water didn't sound all to safe...  
  
And I thought I was having a bad day too.  
  
"No, my days worse," said that very neat voice.  
  
................. HOLY SHIT! The girl is sitting next to me! Oh god! She's wet! Soaking! White!  
  
"No duh I'm wet, I just fecking fell into a lake! Why couldn't Boss let me fall onto a bed or something, all my customers are homosexual males anyway!" the girl complained, twisting her long hair to get all the water out.   
  
Geez.... talk about white obsessor. Pale white skin, white hair, white shirt (not see through thankfully)white jeans, and white boots.  
  
"Who are you anyway?" I asked in a kinda annoyied voice as I put on my headphones and turn my music onto track 6. All hail Evanesence, great songs. Oh, my favorite song, Tourniquet.  
  
"I'm your obsessed with white Fairie God Sister!" the girl said as I lost my balance on the rock and fell off..... Onto the ground.... A couple feet below.  
  
"You're what?!?!?!"  
  
Kinda hard to believe that I have a fairie in the family. Yeah, and my grandpa is a ogre.  
  
"I'm your Fairie God Sister and no, your grandpa is not a ogre. You grandma stole that title with her attitude. Okay, onto the deal part of this whole thing. I'm being forced to find you love and all that mushy crap. Only problem is that it has to be someone you know!" Fairie explained to me as I kinda put on that face that completely told her 'Hey you're a crazy bitch, get the hell away from and bring out a crazy bastard. I communicate with guys better anyway.'  
  
"Huh?"  
  
"Okay, you're not making my job any easier are you. First, you tell me what you like in a guy. Second, from all the people you know, I pick one. Third, you get to pull your charm on him while I stay watching from behind the bushes," the whacked out girl told me as I kinda got it.  
  
She would get me a guy and then disappear into some bushes.   
  
......... Cool.  
  
"Okay.... Cool."  
  
"Fine, now what do you like in a guy?"  
  
"Tall, dark, and handsome..."  
  
She just gave me one of those looks saying 'Yea, great description.'  
  
"Hey, it was on short notice! I can think only so fast!"  
  
"Fine, okay. Now to scan through everyone you know......... Hmm....... Ahh........... PERFECT! Fits your description perfectly. Okay, let's get this over with!" she proclaimed, getting out what looked like my beyblade..... But white. Woah, who saw that one coming? I did.... HAH!  
  
"It's a beyblade, you idiot!"  
  
"Hey! No calling the wandless but still has magic fairie an idiot! I'm here to get you a guy so I better be appreciated!" the snapped at me.......... Oh god, I thought I saw fire in the backround and that she grew kinda tall.  
  
................ She's nice.  
  
"Okay, we need a spot....... The lake wasn't all that bad for a landing space... Okay, that's where I shall let it rip!"  
  
"What in the hell are you fecked up! A beyblade can't spin on water!"  
  
"A normal beyblade can't, but mine can... I hope...."  
  
"You mean you've never done this before! What if you drown the guy!"  
  
"Then I would be so totally screwed and Boss won't be happy."  
  
"Get on with it! Just better hope you don't kill the poor guy!"  
  
"OKAY! Three, two,one, LET IT RIP!"   
  
Oh Jesus Lord! She has some lungs.   
  
Oh and look at that beyblade. Going...... Going...... Still going..... SINK ALREADY!  
  
........................ IT'S NOT SINKING! IT'S NOT SINKING! I'M SOUNDING LIKE A VERY ANNOYING GIRL!  
  
"HAH! So Mr. Know It All, how is it to see the law of gravity being defined..... Umm, dude, you can close your mouth now, it's kinda disgusting..."  
  
It's spinning........ On top of the water....... It's not sinking..... It's floating....... OH MY GOD!  
  
But just to prove I'm a nice guy, I'll close my mouth.... Gaping at something so strange isn't really nice. And calling the fairie strange wasn't nice either.  
  
"I heard that!"  
  
Damnit.... She can read minds!  
  
"You haven't figured that out yet! What are you, an idiot!"  
  
"So I've heard.."  
  
"You know, you're one strange prince. Out of all the royals I met, you're the only that acts like a normal teen," Fairie admitted, watching her beyblade spin.  
  
"Other royals strive for money and power, I strive for being normal," I explained truthfully as I too continued watching that screwy beyblade.  
  
"Okay, how does the spell go again... Oh yeah! Beyblade of Daios, use teleport! Correctly this time!" the girl yelled as the blade started to spin faster and faster till a cyclone of water formed around it and into the sky above.  
  
"Okay........... That's so totally cool I must admitt...."  
  
"Whatever, the cyclone should disappear in a few moments, my beyblade disappearing back to where ever I got it form, and the guy you pull you charm on should be there. If not, I don't know who then."  
  
"Wait, you don't know if this will actually get the guy we want here!"  
  
"No, it could bring a different guy."  
  
"But that would result in some very nasty questioning for me!"  
  
"But think how lucky you would be if the guy was Mel Gibson!"  
  
"................... Good point there."  
  
Okay, the water seems to be disappearing now...  
  
Okay, it's gone, and there's that beyblade........... Poof......... It went bye bye........  
  
One thing is........ No guy....  
  
"Where's the guy I'm supposed to charm?"  
  
"Okay! I HAVEN'T DONE THIS IN A LONG TIME! DON'T HURT ME!"  
  
"How long?"  
  
"A COUPLE HUNDRED YEARS OKAY!"  
  
..................................................... Damn........  
  
"Hey, Robert........"  
  
"What?!?!?!" I snapped at her. Why is she looking up?  
  
"I think I did it correctly..."  
  
I looked up to where she was pointing to see what looked like a waterfall heading straight down at us.  
  
"RUN AWA-"  
  
To late.........   
  
JESUS! SOMEONE LANDED ON ME!   
  
Wait...... Someone landed on me......... AND THE WATER IS STILL FALLING!  
  
I'm wet, I'm bitchy, and I have someone on me!  
  
"Stop!"  
  
Okay........ The girl can now command water to stop...... She's going to get a hug before I kill her.  
  
"Hey Robert, you okay man?"  
  
"Okay Fairie, what do you think? Lots of water fell on me hardly and then someone landed on me! And I think you killed them because they're not moving!" I yelled, or murmed because my face was in the mudd.  
  
"He's not dead. Just knocked out... I think.  
  
"That's such a comfort! NOW GET HIM OFF!"  
  
"Fine, don't have to be pissy about it," I heard my God Sister say before the weight of the other man was shifted off of me.   
  
YAY!  
  
Now let's rub the mudd from my face and get a look at the guy. God please let it be someone that is atleast good looking.... Well I won't be able to tell if the mudd would get off my face!  
  
ARHH! NOT MORE WATER!   
  
"What in the world are you trying to do? DROWN ME?"  
  
"I was just getting the mudd of your face!"  
  
"You wanted to drown me!"  
  
"Soo...."  
  
"Even if I don't like who this guy is, YOU'RE GOING TO DIE!"  
  
"What a great thanks to your Fairie God Sister! Say that to Fairie God Mother, she'll kick your ass!"  
  
"Where is this guy?" I asked, calming down and opening my eyes. YAY! No more mudd. Boo... Fairie Bitch Sister can float high then me.. So that's how she dodged all the water, she can float. Damn her.   
  
Okay, now the guy, where did she put the guy.  
  
"Behind the boulder."  
  
"Uhh.... Thanks. Know this now, stop reading my mind," I told her before I noticed she was fading out. "Where are you going? What if he's dead! You're going to blame me on killing if he is!"  
  
"I didn't say I was going to blame you....."  
  
Good...  
  
"I was going to say you killed him...."  
  
"What the- HEY! COME BACK HERE! I NEED TO STRANGLE YOU TO DEATH!" I yelled out at her. What else am I supposed to do, jump as high as I can and hope I grab one of her shoelaces.  
  
"Okay, I gotta go now. But don't worry, I'll visit in your sleep so then you can try to kill me. But to note before: it'll only be in your dreams. BYE!"   
  
And with that, the highly annoying Fairie God Sister of mine just somehow.... faded into thin air....  
  
Leaving me with a stranger...  
  
WHO COULD BE A RAPIST!!!  
  
Oh well, time to face the music- err, I mean guy. Please say it's Mel Gibson....  
  
Okay, can't a german guy like a american actor? Yes he can.  
  
Let's see, there's the boulder I was previously sitting on before that girl made me fall off. If she wasn't kidding, the guy should be behind it.   
  
I grabbed onto the boulder as I try to walk/slid to the back of the rock because of all the mudd. God, thank you for these boots that keep the mudd from getting inside of them.   
  
Okay, I think I see what looks like a leg. Okay, that's a good sign knowing that brat was telling the truth.  
  
Okay, now to roll the guy on over. How else can he breathe. Oh feck, what if she really did kill him.   
  
Man, talk about a lot of death today.  
  
I reached down and grabbed the mans shoulders and used whatever strength I had left from trying to survive that water attack and flipped him over.  
  
Pale, still breathing, leather clothes, and crismon hair. He looks really familar but I can't just remember where I last saw him.  
  
Think Robert, think.  
  
Guy laying infront of you, unconscious, with black clothes, pale skin, and crismon hair. Had to of met him atleast once. The little girl said only the people I know are the ones that she can get for me.  
  
Hmm... Okay, let's go into more description, maybe something on him can help unblock my memory.  
  
I began to search his pockets. Okay..... Jeans with no pockets........   
  
Okay, better search for anything else..... Think he has a bra? Nah, probably doesn't. And no way in hell and I'm checking the other undergarmets. We just met!   
  
No tattoos from what can see on his arms and just to note, he works out or was naturally born with these muscles.  
  
Huh? I thought I saw something in his mouth... Was he eating something when Fairie kidnapped him? She did! Or just burrowed him for a few days or soo...  
  
"Please don't wake up, please don't wake up, oh please just don't wake up," I begged in a whisper as I gently used my right hand to open his mouth a little to see what was in there.  
  
A normal mouth. Tongue, gums, and teeth. All except the fact that the guy had fangs.  
  
Then, bingo, my memory comes back and I can clearly say who this guy is.... And I'm not taking it very maturely..  
  
"HOLY FUCKING JESUS CHRIST! WHAT THE HELL IS THAT DAMN VAMPIRE DOING HERE!" I yelled before slipping in the mudd and falling on the guy and waking him up.   
  
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TBC!   
  
Okay, so how was the first chapter? Please say good. I know it's kinda long, but I like long chapters. Get's me something to do.   
  
Please review! 


	2. Fecking You!

BWUAHAHAHAHAHA! Total of 6 reviews! AND ICEE POPS!!!! *puts the icee pops for Sanquinex away......... for obvious reasons....* No one else gave me anything....... ¿_¿ Don't I feel loved...... Nah, just kiddin. =^.^= Don't want to be spoiled.  
  
Disclaimer: read last chapter.  
  
Question: Since the Fairie God Sister is coming back, since Robert needs to kill her if he can, you want me to put a bio up for you on her.  
  
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(Rob's Point of View)  
  
Okay, to put this all as simple as I can.....  
  
I'm dirty!  
  
I'm bitchy!  
  
And I have a fecking vampire under me!  
  
............ A vampire in tight leather clothes..........  
  
BAD MENTAL IMAGES!   
  
But good temptations.............  
  
NOOOO!!!!!!   
  
I RATHER SLEEP WITH OLIVER THEN HIM!  
  
................................. Nah, rather feck Johnny first. Atleast Johnny isn't afraid of breaking his nails.  
  
"Get off me kid! You aren't exactly a light weight!" the vampire snapped at as I noticed I was still laying on him.  
  
................ Oh no he did not just insult me!   
  
I weigh like any normal guy at 18...... I think. From all the eclairs to french fries.... I guess I gained half a pound....  
  
I lose weight really easy...   
  
I run around the castle like, every hour... And it his a huge castle. You'll probably never seen one before I bet... HAH!  
  
"For one, I'M NOT A KID! Two, DO NOT INSULT MY WEIGHT! I'M WEARING PADDING!!!........ And other safety stuff," I yelled, using the power of lungs.   
  
Enrique, you can eat your heart out. I'm way louder then you.  
  
"Damnit kid! Ever heard of a guy in pain, in the mudd, with a brat on him that won't get off! What, do you want me to pick you up! Even though you weigh a ton or so, I can still pick you up!"   
  
"I bet you can't!"  
  
"Can too!"  
  
"Can't!"  
  
"Can!"  
  
"Can't!"  
  
"Can!"  
  
"Fine then! Try!"  
  
Hey, atleast I didn't say 'Bite me!' or something along those lines.  
  
"Brat..." I heard him mutter before he grabbed the collar of my t-shirt, moved me off of him kinda roughly, not letting go of my shirt.   
  
"Hey, lighten up on the grip already. Uhh.... You're kinda tall... Hey! What are you doing! Let me down!" I bitched, as the crismon-haired man stood up and picked me up to his eye-level.... Maybe higher... All I know is that my feet have left the ground...  
  
"I should bite you for your attitude," he threatened me...   
  
I really don't think an apology would help me now...  
  
"Hmm...."  
  
I opened my eyes since I had them closed... You would close your eyes too knowing that you were being held by a very pissed off vampire.  
  
Okay, why does he look confused... Can someone fill me in! I kinda got lost when... Umm.... That sister person fell face first into the lake... Which was kinda funny to watch!  
  
"You look kinda familiar," the vamp admitted, his onyx eye's narrowing at me.  
  
"What, you don't remember Sanquinex? Man, I feel so loved," I said sarcastically as Sanquinex gives off that look saying "I would love to kill you at the moment if you don't stop with your attitude you punk."  
  
To bad, I'm not a punk! I'm a prince with an attitude!  
  
"Only so few know me. You're definately not any of my teammates. You're not a Bladebreaker.... None of them have purple hair..... You're that snobbish Majestic, Robert! And you remembered me! I thought I wasn't worth being remembered," the vampire sneered, putting me down on my feet again. Okay, how can he figure out who I am before 5 minutes of meeting! It took me 6 minutes!  
  
"It probably just slipped into my mind," I lied, looking as innocent as possible. Damn I wish Max could of taught me how to pull off the innocent act, he's the king at it.  
  
"Mmhmm, and I'm actually a human with great dental care," Sanquinex sneered at me.   
  
My, isn't he a nice fellow. Should invite him home for tea. And after that, I'll kill him along with Fairie for bringing him here!  
  
............... I was being sarcastic, except on the last note.  
  
"And I thought you were actually humanly challenged," I told him truthfully. What, he even says that he and all those other mons- I mean humanly challenged teammates of his are.  
  
"I can tell you like to back-talk people till you get your way," he told me.  
  
.................. Well DAMN! How can I back-talk that! If I back-talk him, it'll prove I do back-talk.  
  
But I should!  
  
Shouldn't!  
  
Should!  
  
Shouln't!  
  
Shou- WHAT THE HELL! I'm back-talking myself!  
  
............. I need some mental help...  
  
"So what if I do? Like you shouldn't care! And by the way, blood is dripping out of your mouth," i told him, disgusted by the blood.  
  
"Ahh, damnit! I forgot, I was feeding when something knocked me out!" he cried out, wiping the blood off his chin with his hand. Then he started licking his hand...  
  
And I thought Tyson needed manners....   
  
"Do you have to do that?" I asked him while I turned away. I really don't want to lose my lunch, breakfast, and maybe last nights dinner.  
  
"If I want to live, yes."  
  
"Vampires......"  
  
"Humanly challenged!"  
  
"Fine then, humanly challenged...." I sighed, CORRECTLY. God, and I thought Gustav was the perfectionist.  
  
"Robert... Just a question.... WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU WEARING?!?!?!" the vampire yelled, pointing at my outfit.   
  
Okay, so I thought the mudd could of covered up the t-shirt and jeans. But I guess it didn't totally.  
  
"Umm..... Uhh...... Stop staring please. It isn't nothing out of the ordinary," I said, sweatdropping a little.... or alot.  
  
"Nothing out the ordinary for my meals, for a prince.... It's kinda disturbing."  
  
"Like your outfit isn't any better!"  
  
"Hey! Don't insult the outfit! It took me a whole day to kill the right people to get the outfit! Leather is very hard to get!"  
  
"What! And you think it was easier for me to get this stuff! It'll hurt my reputation if the public found out that I have these clothes!" I told him, just realizing something...  
  
"Oh fecking shit! You saw me wearing this!" I yelled out in horror as Sanquinex smirked at me.   
  
"And I also know you sound like a girl when you're panicked."  
  
"I don't sound like a girl! That'll be Oliver's job!"  
  
"Yeah, and it's that blonde brat's job to fuck the green-haired boy!"  
  
"........ I hate to admitt it, but you're right on that one," I said in defeat. God if Oliver or Enrique ever heard me saying this..... Let's just say things will not be pretty. Well, since Oliver will be there, then yes it'll be pretty actually.  
  
"And am I right on the fact that the sun is setting on us?"  
  
....... WHAT?!?!?!?!?!  
  
I quickly looked up at the sun.  
  
Damnit, he's right. Again.  
  
"Where's my bike? I gotta get back to the castle," I panicked... trying to not sound like a girl as much as I could.  
  
"Bike? What's that?"  
  
At that statement, my face was in the mudd for the third time that day. I tripped okay!   
  
"You don't know what a motorcycle is?"  
  
"I thought you were looking for a bike?"  
  
"Are you dumb?"  
  
"Are you gay?"  
  
............... Mudd is good, mudd is nice, mudd is another way of covering up your face so no one can see your face blushing like hell.  
  
After my face turned back to it's normal color I think, I wiped the mudd off. I wish I wore goggles or something, they could of helped.  
  
"And why do you ask?" I asked calmly as I stood up, and walked over to the lake. Ahh, a crystal clear lake, nice and cold. And a good way of cleaning myself up.  
  
"Ask what?"  
  
"If I was gay or not," I stated, taking off my gloves and soaked them in the water.  
  
Don't worry for all those people who care enough to worry for me, there's nothing in this lake. Not a fish or minnow. This place is more like a spring. No plant life at the bottom, only rocks. And a couple hundred yards away is a waterfall coming out of the rocks. I don't know how that's possible, but it's possible.. And pretty too.  
  
"I don't know. You allows struck me as the gay type."  
  
"And how did I strike you as gay?" I said, trying to get a straight answer as I used one of my water soaked gloves as a wash rag to clean the mudd off my face.   
  
"Well...."  
  
HAH! He can't find an answer!   
  
Well, I must admitt that he was right about me being gay though.   
  
I looked over my shoulder at him... God, if he kept thinking so hard his brain will melt! Oh well, it's due time to piss him off again.  
  
"I bet you can think of one good reason to back up your statement," I said, flashing him one of those to die for smiles that would make any guy melt. Hey, it worked on Tyson a couple of times. I remember the first time I used it on him. God, I think he fainted or something.  
  
"I will find out something to back up my statement Robert, just you wait!" Sanquinex vowed as I laughed silently at him. He can search and search some more! He'll never find anything out on me!  
  
I put the gloves back on my hands when I felt that nearly all the mudd on my face was gone and went over to the vampire who looked pretty pissed.  
  
"Okay vamp, I would suggest you coming with me to my home, or stay out here in the woods, alone. Well not totally alone. There had been rumors going around that a pack of wolves have been seen in this area," I told him as I started down the trail. I'll come back in the morning for my bike and I have plenty portable cd players and Evanescence cds in my room.   
  
"You think I would believe that?"   
  
"Oh, and that I'm the only one around here that knows the way back to civilization," I stated, smirking to myself. Okay, I lied about the wolves, but my last statement was true. Unless the guy came here before...  
  
... Highly unlikely.  
  
I continued my smirk as I heard him following me, muttering something. I can tell what he's muttering, and it's something little kids should hear. Luckily I'm the youngest person in my castle so no little kid's ears will be burned.  
  
"How long is this walk?" Sanquinex asked me five minutes later.  
  
Long enough to think up some very brutual but still fun to watch torture plans for the next idiot to ruin my life.  
  
"A mile."  
  
"A mile!"  
  
"Yes a mile. Think you can tough it out?"  
  
"I don't know. After being knocked unconcious and then learn you've been kidnapped by one of your rivals is kinda brethe-taking," he told me as I quickly spun around to meet his gaze.  
  
"What do you mean kidnapped! I didn't even know you would be the one to fall out of the sky!"  
  
"Then I didn't plan on falling out of the sky today!"  
  
"First you nearly threaten to bite me and now you're saying I kidnapped you!"  
  
"My aren't you the smart one!"  
  
"Maybe you should of stayed at the lake!"  
  
"Fine, just one question. Is there only one path back to your castle?"  
  
I looked at him confused. Why was he asking that?  
  
"Umm.... yeah, why?"  
  
"Because I don't feel like hearing yu all the way there!" Sanquinex told me before he pulled back his fist and punched me right in the middle of the face...   
  
.......... Ooohh.... Pretty beyblades....  
  
'Boss, why can't I get just a little nap up here!'  
  
....... OH GOD! NOT HER!   
  
Wait, YES IT IS! It is her!  
  
I looked up into a tree just off the path to find that short little brat laying down on a tree branch, watching the scene.  
  
But, I thought she said that I can only see her when I'm asleep.....  
  
'You are you idiot, look down!' she told me, pointing down at my feet.  
  
I looked down like she said......  
  
........ Okay, kinda freaky. I'm lying on the ground knocked out...   
  
HOLY SHIT! Sanquinex killed me!  
  
'No he didn't, he just knocked you out!' Fairie told me as she floated down next to me.   
  
'Man, he can punch good then,' I said, scanning the area. I guess no one can see me except the sister person.  
  
'Man, you're a smart one,' my God Sister said as I glared at her. But she shook it off and continued. 'You're right, only I can see you when you sleep. You're like a ghost whenever you're asleep and you're in the real world and not the dream world.'  
  
'Huh?'  
  
'To put it simple, whenever you sleep, you can either go to two worlds. The real world in which you live in by day, but only as a ghost. Or you can go to the dream world where most people usually do go.'  
  
'Okay, so I'm like a ghost or something?'  
  
'You're smart!'  
  
'Funny. Har dee fecking har!'  
  
'Atleast I'm not the little sarcastic bastard of the group!'  
  
'No, you're the little sarcastic bitch. And I mean little literally,' I told her, looking her over.   
  
'..... WHY DOES EVERYONE BRING UP THE HEIGHT PROBLEM?!?!?!' she wailed, curling up into a ball.  
  
'Sheesh........ okay, you can stop now! Come on! I'M SORRY! You're not THAT short...'  
  
'Do you mean it?' she asked, looking at me with those innocent grayish silver eyes of hers.  
  
Fah, innocent. Yeah right.  
  
'Yes.'  
  
'Really?'  
  
'Really...'  
  
'Really really?'  
  
'Did you watch Shrek any time before ruining my life?'  
  
'I like Donkey!' she chirped happily. Okay, she offically scares me...  
  
I looked back down at the ground to see if I was still there....  
  
OH MY GOD! I DISAPPEARED!   
  
And oh my god, I'm talking about myself... Kinda wierd and cool at the same time...  
  
'Oh God, oh God, where did I go?' I panicked, now showing my girly panicky side. I LOST MYSELF!  
  
'Oh Boss, oh Boss, where did your lover go?' Fairie, too, panicked.  
  
'Lover? Me and him? No, you made a mistake! You were supposed to send Mel Gibson!'  
  
'Sorry to say but I think he's married.'  
  
'So?'  
  
'I should really tell Sanquinex a reason to prove you're gay to him,' God Sister sighed, looking around the area. Then she looked up. Then looked panicked, severly.  
  
GOD! Don't tell me another waterfall is coming down on us!  
  
'Robert, do you know when vampires usually feed?'  
  
'Umm.. Mostly at night I think,' I answered her, confused. Man, I mustbe the most confused person of all time!  
  
'No, I mean during which moon. Like the full of wax,' she said as I began to ponder.  
  
'Well, to most facts vampires don't like any type of light, so I believe they come out to feed usually on the new moons,' I told her as her face took on the face of total panic.  
  
'Robert, do you see any moon tonight?' she asked as I looked up and searched the sky.  
  
'No, I think tonight is a new mo-'  
  
OH GOD! Now I know what she's thinking!  
  
'OH FECKING JESUS DAMNIT GOD! HOLY SHIT! HOLY FECKING SHIT! A VAMPIRE HAS MY BODY ON A NEW MOON!' I screamed... a couple pitches higher then usual.   
  
.... You would too if you found out a vampire had your unconcious body on a feeding night.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
............................HI THERE! IT'S TIME TO REVIEW TO THE REVIEWS! YAY!  
  
Heather: WRITING AT 2 A.M. IF FUN DAMNIT! YOU SHOULD TRY IT!  
  
Wierd Guy: ARE YOU WIERD? YOU HAVE A WIERD NAME! I KNOW, WIERD COUPLING! I DON'T KNOW WHERE SANQUINEX CAME FROM, I WASN'T THAT AT HIS BIRTH! BUT I'M SURE WE'LL FIND OUT SOON ENOUGH IN THE STORY!  
  
Tsuname Wave: *screams* TIDAL WAVE! AH, JUST KIDDING! THANKS! DON'T WORRY I WILL CONTINUE WRITING STORIES! HUH! *wink wink, nudge nudge*  
  
Pink Devil: DUDE! IT ISN'T ALL TO HEALTHY TO ONLY HAVE THAT MANY POPS! YOU NEED MORE! I LOVE THE DARE SHOW SO FAR! I THINK I SUBMITTED MORE DARES IN! OH, AND I THINK SANQUINEX LIKES THE BLOOD POPS! ....... GOOD! I DON'T WANT TO DIE ANY TIME SOON FROM BLOOD LOST!  
  
Draconicality: *fwhaps Johnny over the head with a wedge of cheese* READING PLAYBOY YOUNG MAN! TSK TSK TSK! I SHOULD STRIKE HELL UPON YOU! AFTER I'M DONE RUINING ROBERT'S LIFE! DON'T WORRY JOHNNY, YOU'LL GET A SPECIAL PAIRING IN THIS STORY AND I BELIEVE I SHALL CLAIM THE FIRST OF IT! (insert evil laugh) MWUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!  
  
Silver-Eyes Magican Girl: NO DUH NO ONE EVER THOUGHT OF THIS! I MEAN, COME ON! ROBERT OF ALL PEOPLE! ANY OF THE MAJESTICS! THAT'S WHY IT MAKES SUCH A GREAT AND EVIL PLAN! THANKS TOO.  
  
BWUHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! NOW I SHALL BE OFF! JOHNNY YOU BETTER NOT BE READING THAT MAGAZINE AGAIN OR I'LL RISE HELL UPON YOU AND PAIR YOU UP WITH SOMEONE VERY STRANGE! LIKE ME! =^.^= I WOULDN'T MIND THAT!  
  
REVIEWS: PEOPLE DAMNIT IF YOU WANT TO READ THIS STORY MORE, YOU NEED TO FECKING REVIEW SO I KNOW THERE ARE PEOPLE OUT THERE THAT CARE TO READ THIS STORY! SO FECKING REVIEW DAMNIT! 


	3. Fecking Mallets

HIYA! MWUHAHAHAHAHA! HI! Sugar is nice! =^.^= Okay, since no one bothered in reading the top part of my last chapter to read the question *glares at reviewers* Okay, so I guess I'll put up Fairie's Bio so there won't be any questions about her.  
  
Name: Fairie God Sister/Fairie/God Sister/Brat  
  
Age in Appearance: 16 but actually looks 11  
  
Real Age: 1652  
  
Hair: silverish-white  
  
Eyes: grayish-silver  
  
Skin: pale  
  
Height: think Ian height  
  
Attitude: knows how to push anger buttons, mood swings easily sometimes with her, highly annoying at some points in life  
  
Job: assigned to help homosexual males find mates and help them live happily ever after and sometimes does errands to Earth for God  
  
Habits: never calls God God but only Boss. Example, you would say 'Oh my God.' She would say 'Oh my Boss' because God is her boss. Is also the obsessor of white. She will only wear white and white only.  
  
Backround: Was born in mideval era. God accidentally was off aim when he was trying to give a heart attack to the neighbor but instead killed her. Since she died, God gave her the choice in helping people as a Fairie or return to Earth as a ghost since it was basically his fault she died in the first place. So she choose the Fairie one and has been helping gay guys since because since straight couples were sooo common and because she needed the challenged.  
  
Last seen (Note: Fairie World/Heaven has faster time then Real World) in Scotland sneaking around some properties looking for something... or someone who shall not be named. *cough*Red-Head*hacker*Anger-Management needed*cough*  
  
Disclaimer: read last chapter, it explains all  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
(Robert Point's of View........ Yay....)  
  
Okay, everyone. It's that time of the day where I have to sum up my life all in 3 seconds....  
  
MY LIFE IS FRIGGIN FECKED UP!  
  
Ahh danggit! That's 4 seconds!  
  
Okay, that annoying little girl... little literally is starting to cry and say something like being fired and being banished to Hell...  
  
SHE CAN BRING ME TOO! I'll eventually be sent there by morning! It'll be fun!  
  
.... I WANT MY BODY BACK! AND I WANT IT NOW!  
  
I-Am-Getting-Pissed-Off-And-Annoying-Fairie-God-Sister-Isn't-Shutting-The-Hell-UP!  
  
Atleast she has her body! Mine is stuck with a vampire and the vamp decided to drag me off somewhere!   
  
Oh, I will be totally screwed if I find out he's a rapist...  
  
CAN'T HE RAPE OLIVER OR SOMETHING!   
  
I mean, come on! To be totally honest, Oliver is better looing then me! And besides, he's still virgin! Rapist like virgins as I heard!  
  
..... I need a hug!  
  
'I'm not hugging you!' Fairie yelled at me from her branch. Well, she's actually floating above the branch I think. I can't see. She's in a very tall pine tree and she's at the top branch!  
  
'Would you please go get your own mind! Mine is for my own personal thoughts!'  
  
'Personal! I've been listening in on you for the past few days to know you better before we actually meet! I'm not the one who watches football only because of the football player's butts! Besides, your mind just screams 'LISTEN IN ON ME! I'M A PERVERTED LITTLE MIND! LISTEN TO WHAT I HAVE TO SAY ABOUT MY FRIENDS!' Personally, I like the whole plan on how to get Johnny to fuck one of your butlers, pure genius right there!'  
  
'I'M NOT PERVERTED!'  
  
'Boss, and I thought I had issues!'  
  
'STOP SAYING BOSS TOO! It's friggin annoying!' I yelled up at her. God, you'd think that Kevin kid was annoying.... And short. But man! This girl beats him by a mile!  
  
'Stop messing with the height! Atleast I don't have helmet hair! Literally!'  
  
'Okay! I can't help it if this is the way my hair goes! But maybe you can help your problem and drink milk!' I yelled at her as she jumped down from her spot to land infront of me... How does she do that?  
  
'Comes with the magic. Okay, here's the deal! How about we call a truce,' Fairie concluded as I thought about it.  
  
'If only you switch the vampire out with someone else before he kills me!'  
  
'Don't worry, he just carried you back to the castle,' she said, scratching her nose.  
  
'Oh that's o- WHAT THE HELL! YOU KNEW?!?!?!?!' I screamed at her as she snickered.  
  
'I'm your Fairie God Sister remember? I have what's sorta like a 6th sense that helps see where my job is,' she explained, grinning like hell and scratching the back of her neck.  
  
Her neck, oh how would I love right now to just snatch that neck and snap it in two!  
  
'You kill me, I'll personally go up to the office and give Boss only good words about you, sending you straight up to Heaven with me,' she threatened.  
  
... Damn, she was good at threatening.  
  
'Fine, just switch him out already!'  
  
'No can do!'  
  
'What! But-but-but!'  
  
'No buts mister! Once someone has been picked, it's your job to swoom them!'  
  
'But he is nothing what I wanted!'  
  
'You wanted, and I qoute from your own mouth, 'tall, dark, and handsome!' Un-qoute! Now tell me! Is he tall?'  
  
I nodded...  
  
'Is he dark?'  
  
For God's sake! HE'S A FRIGGIN VAMPIRE! OF COURSE HE'S DARK!  
  
'I'll take that as a yes. Finally, is he handsome? I personally think he's one fine piece of ass, but it's your choice,' Fairie said as I glared at her.  
  
Okay, hard question. Is it a trick question?  
  
'No,' she as she somehow pulled out a life-size poster out of her pocket... What the hell?  
  
'Is he handsome or not?' she repeated as she unraveled the poster and pinned it to a nearby tree...  
  
'Hell yeah,' I said flat out looking at the poster. She's been doing her homework. And I agree with her on him being one fine piece of ass too.  
  
On the poster was Sanquinex of course, I think in Paris because of all the lights and crap. it's night time, but who cares. It looked like she took the picture as he was looking over his shoulder. Mmmm, black, silky boy-type tank top shirt tightly fitting his upper torso... And showing his strong arms perfectly...Damn, I think I'm getting a nose bleed...  
  
'Here,' Fairie said, handing me a box of tissues she probably also got from her pants...  
  
Mmm..... Tight blue jeans..... God, thank you for a guy who has a nice ass... JUST THANKYOU LORD!  
  
God, the vampire can even make the boots look good on him too!  
  
'You're drooling.'  
  
'Do I look like I care?'  
  
'No... do you agree with me on the ass?'  
  
'Hell-fecking-yeah,' I told her as she started to get the poster down.  
  
'Hey! Can I have that?' I asked her as she simply did a glare at me.  
  
'You can go and hid in the bushes and take your own picture of him, this one is mine!'  
  
'Aww....'  
  
'Besides,' she started as she put the poster back into her pocket with the un-used tissues. 'You'll be waking up soon, and I don't want to get in trouble because a soul-less body will be there just staring at the ceiling. And you can't get back into your body if it's awake. And I don't want Sanquinex to punch you again, he might damage himself and I really don't want that!'  
  
'Oh, fine, don't care for the unconcious one!' I snapped at her as she started ranting on about how good-looking Sanquinex was.  
  
'Okay, I'm done! Okay, we got about 6 minutes and counting to get you back!'  
  
'WHAT?!?!? I can't run 3/4ths a mile in that time!'  
  
'......... You're a ghost you know that?'  
  
'Yeah.....'  
  
'Okay, flying lesson time!'  
  
'I can fly?'  
  
'Yeah, all ghost can when they don't have to do that haunting bullshit. Okay, just jump up and imagine that you're flying! AND HURRY!'  
  
She's insane... BUT WHO CARES! I DON'T WANT TO GET PUNCHED AGAIN!   
  
2 minutes later as I'm still struggling and she's trying not to laugh her head off at me...  
  
'Okay, drastic measures!' she proclaimed as I fell into the dirt one last time. I WAS SOOO CLOSE! I stayed up for 4 seconds!  
  
'What you're doing!'  
  
'I'm getting out my 'broomstick!'' she said as she reached into a pocked and brought out one big ass mallet.  
  
'Wow, must be a pain trying to sweep the floor,' I told her as she smirked at me.  
  
'It's actually quite easy! Watch!' she commanded as she used all her and slammed the mallet (that was a few feet bigger then her) onto the ground... With a very large boom and ground shaking.  
  
'What's supposed to hap... pen....'  
  
I couldn't finished my sentence because her mallet just sprouted these giant wings. Okay, to note, you will only find another fictional thing like this, in Max's dream.  
  
'Okay, no time for talking, get on!' Fairie shouted at me as she grabbed me and threw me behind her on the handle of the mallet.  
  
'I rather run!'  
  
'Oh no you don't! I'm not getting fired before I get my flying liscense!' she yelled as she kicked off the ground.   
  
OH MY GOD! WE'RE FLYING ON A OVER-SIZED MALLET! HAS MAX TAKEN OVER THE WORLD WITH HIS IMAGINATION OR SOMETHING!  
  
'No, he's actually planning on taking over the whole universe.'  
  
'What?!'  
  
'Don't ask! Just hold on tight!' she said one last time as the mallet speed up faster.  
  
Thank God I landed with my legs swinged over on size. It would be a huge pain if I landed with my legs spread apart.  
  
I immediatly grabbed her shoulders to hold on as I looked down... Big no no right there.  
  
...... Quite a drop right there.... We're above all the trees and I can see the castle in the distance, becoming closer enery second.  
  
'Just 3 minutes left! We'll most likely make it just in time! We could get there with 20 seconds to spare if we go faster you know!'  
  
'Fine whatever! I just don't want to get a bruise on my face!'  
  
And with that, I should of punched myself. We were most likely going the speed of a jet plane or something. And the castle is getting closer, and closer, only 1 minute left!  
  
'Which room am I in?!' I asked her as she did a sharp turn to advoid hitting a bat.  
  
'Right over here, and lucky for you the window's open!'  
  
'Huh?!?!'  
  
'Huston, he's good to go!'  
  
'Hey! What are you DOING?!?!?" I yelled at her as she reached behind herself and snatched me. And then to make things worse, she threw me up in the air.  
  
'Ready for launch! In 3, 2, 1, GO GO GO!' Fairie yelled one last time before she hit me with her mallet and through a window...... Quite harshly if you asked me...  
  
Ack! SHE IS SOOO LUCKY THE WINDOW IS OPEN AND THE BED IS SOFT!   
  
Okay, where am I?  
  
'Robert! 10 seconds left! Hurry!' I heard her yell from outside the window.  
  
I WOULD IF I COULD FIND MYSELF!  
  
"Right this way sir, just be careful with him. He means everything to us,' came a voice outside the door. Then the door opened.  
  
There I am being carried by somone!  
  
I wasted no time before shooting out of the bed and jumping into my body.  
  
'Yay! You did it Robert! You saved my job! I owe you one!' And that's the last I ever heard from her that night.... Hopefully.  
  
Okay... Now I can see a bright light...  
  
NOO!!! DON'T GO TOWARDS IT!!!! GO TOWARDS THE PRETTY RED ONE THAT LOOKS LIKE FLAMES!!!! Better place... IT HAS FIRE!  
  
"Master Robert, you're awake!"  
  
"Master Robert, oh, you're sooo dead meat when the head maid finds you!"  
  
"Look at you Master Robert! You're covered in filth! Tabby! Go get the bath ready, and some decent clothes!"  
  
"Oh my, Gustav, you better go get him something to eat too! He looks a little thin!"  
  
................ Maids, can't live without them. They know how to treat you sometimes.... And other times, you just want to strangle their necks.  
  
Okay, now I must focus my eyes. From what I can tell, the maids lite every fecking candle, lamp, and or any other thing that gives off light in the room. Can't they see, I'LL MOST LIKELY GO BLIND LIKE THIS!  
  
"Err........ To much light!" I murmered, closing my eyes and hid my face in a shirt.... That wasn't my shirt...  
  
All maids in room: "Awwww..... How cute!" all in their sqeauly voices.  
  
For some reason, I feel like they're not going to let me forget this night if this is who I think it is.  
  
My eyes instantly snapped open and focused and then looked up. Okay, look back down, back down.   
  
"Aww, look! Robert's blushing! I know he is!" one of the maids sqeauked as I vowed to double her chore time.  
  
"Aww, I guess Robert has a new boyfriend!" another maid guessed. Double chores for her two.  
  
"Uhh, we're not together. I just found him out in the woods, unconcious. That's all, I swear!"  
  
Wow, I didn't know vampires could swear! Oh and Sanquinex, while you're swearing, why don't you go down to the local church and tell the priest down there your sin about not telling some very nice (and annoying) maids that you punched their boss! Then you would be sin free.  
  
"What were you doing in the woods in the first place?" asked Gustav. I knew it was him, because basically he would be the only butler to care enough to make sure I'm okay.  
  
"Oh umm...... Where do I put him?" Sanquinex asked, changing the subject. Apparently we both thought the same thing;  
  
'Who in their right mind would think that this guy just fell from the sky and landed right on me! Maybe the maids would, but not Gustav.'  
  
"Umm, how about you help me clean him up. I'm afraid the maids would fret over him and make sure every millimeter of him would be spotless," Gustav said, adding the last part only so that Sanquinex could hear him. Thankfully, I personally think those maids are killers in disguise.  
  
"Couldn't agree more with you," I heard the vampire mutter before he followed Gustav out of the room leaving behind the gossiping maids... So that's how they know everything that happens... And it's annoying!  
  
I should ask them to not gossip like us men, but then they'll most likely say that we do.. And they're probably right. Finding out "who's easy" could be another form of gossiping... Who cares! Atleast we only talk about that and not everything else on this planet!  
  
.... Okay, I'm about to start bitching if we don't get to this place soon! It's kinda embarressing being carried princess style by a very hot and extremely dangerous guy here... And I like 'em dangerous. To bad he's not a cop, he could of had handcuffs then!  
  
..... Enrique has corrupted my mind with all his little favorite fetish games....  
  
He usually goes on and on about his favorite toys as I pretend to not listen to him and read a book at the same time across the table from him. But it's kinda hard to ignore that.   
  
Apparently, the guy likes handcuffs, bedpost, and women with whips..... And sometimes the occasional whip cream.  
  
...... He truely does scare me sometimes....  
  
I can now pity Oliver at the moment. Poor guy... He doesn't own handcuffs or a whip... But I'm guessing he does own a nice leather torture outfit that he would love to show Enrique sometime...  
  
"Okay, now put him right here and I'll go get some bandages and some fresh new clothes," Gustav said before I could hear him leaving the room we were in at the moment.  
  
"Damnit, like I said before. You're no light-weight Robert," Sanquinex said before he layed me down on what I thought was a bed.  
  
"You're truely one giant bastard, insulting me like that," I told him, opening my eyes once again to look at him. Remember when that Fairie girl was in the tree and I thought I need a hug, I guess I kinda got one, being held by him. To bad my soul was panicking like a gi- I mean guy!  
  
"What I was saying was true!"  
  
"Yeah, and you got great dental care like I told you before!"  
  
"Yeah, my dentist suggests you should really floss before and after a meal, so whatever you eat doesn't easily get caught between your teeth."  
  
"Funny," I told him sarcastically.  
  
"Nah, being funny is Lupinex's job. He usually gets a bucket of cold water dumped on him when he's out on the fire escape, howling at the moon again," the vampire said as I laughed softly to myself. I guess that man was truely a dog at heart.  
  
"Ya'll got an apartment?"  
  
"Yeah, why?"  
  
"I would of pictured ya'll in a secret place and stuff, being humanly challenged that is," I quickly added as he smirked at me.  
  
"Yeah, but we're not monsters, just humanly challenged like you said. Now, to get you out of these clothes," Sanquinex said, as I realized I was still in the muddy clothes.  
  
"Oh yeah, and besides, this padding is digging into my skin," I admitted as I started to get off my gloves and wrist protecters.  
  
"You shouldn't move you know. You could have some injuries," the vampire said as I gave him a quizical look. "You fell down a lot you know. You aren't exactly graceful."  
  
"On and on with the insults! Man, don't I feel loved!" I said sarcastically as I laid back down on the bed in defeat.  
  
"You should, those maids cared a lot for you, you know?" the red-head said as he started removing my elbow pads.  
  
"That's what they're paid to do, along with taking care of the castle," I told him as he now started to remove the knee pads now.  
  
"I guess you're right, but what if they actually don't care about the money and only care about you and your well-being," he countered, starting to remove my boots. God, he's quick.  
  
"I guess you beat me in that arguement," I admitted as he pulled the second boot off my foot, only leaving my chest pad left...  
  
... Damn...   
  
"Man, this is going to be tricky. You could be hurt. But on the other hand, it could hurt you more. Just gotta take the risk, could be fun," Sanquinex said smiling as I glared at him.   
  
"Like I said before, funny," I told him as he started to unbuckle the pad. One bad thing in this, the pad has to go over my head to get off.  
  
"Anything hurting?"  
  
"No."  
  
"Good, cause I did drop you a few times on the way over here, once a bunch of big rocks."  
  
"I'm getting the feeling that those were no accidents."  
  
"Maybe, maybe not," he told me, flashing me a smile...   
  
God, he's sooo hot....  
  
"I'm getting a vibe that says maybe not," I honestly told him as he brought the pad over my head, face lingering a little to close to mine.  
  
Okay, I can feel my face heating up....  
  
Okay, has anyone ever heard of the saying "SHOOT ME RIGHT NOW!"  
  
Well guess what, you just did. And now I shall use it in a sentence in my mind.  
  
Please, would someone shoot me right now!  
  
"You can blink you know."  
  
"Huh?"   
  
I snapped out of my thoughts to see Sanquinex watching me with what I believed was a triumphant smirk.  
  
"You weren't blinking. I thought I somehow killed you. Unfortunatly, you're not dead," the vampire told me as I blinked a couple times.  
  
One thought ran through my mind:  
  
'Oh he's sooo nice. God, he's nicer then Johnny!'  
  
... That's true....  
  
"Why don't you take a picture, I'm sure it'll last longer," I snapped at him since he kept staring at me.  
  
"Someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed."  
  
"More like woke up in the wrong person's arms."  
  
"Atleast I didn't drag you like I was tempted to do!"  
  
"Atleast you weren't punched out of concious!"  
  
...... Let the "nice" war begin....  
  
"You were talking to much!"  
  
"It isn't my fault you asked my questions with long answers!"  
  
"Plus you were annoying!"  
  
"Annoying?! Annoying would be Tyson and Max on sugar high!"  
  
"Are you on sugar high or something?!"  
  
"Do I look like I'm on sugar high?"  
  
"No..."  
  
"Okay, then you can cross off your theory of me being annoying!"  
  
"Then are you naturally annoying or something?"  
  
"You are soo lucky i'm not allowed to move!"  
  
"Yeah, lucky me. Like you can do any harm!"  
  
"You're tempting me to harm you, you know!"  
  
"Do now, thanks!"  
  
...................... AND HE'S CALLING ME ANNOYING!  
  
"This is going to be the longest night of my life," I moaned, rolling over on my side ignoring the no moving rule.  
  
I don't care if I'm in muddy clothes or that my side hurts (Thanks to Sanquinex!) I just want to go back to bed and see if Fairie would let me look at that poster again.  
  
I curled up in a ball as I heard Sanquinex leaving the room.  
  
"'Night Robert," he told me as I held one of my hands up and easily flicked him off. Then I heard him laughing.  
  
"Nah, maybe I'll take you up on that offer later though! 'Night!" and with that, I guess he went to find a guest room or something.  
  
... Thank goodness to. I think I was positively glowing a bright red before I some how fell asleep...  
  
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Review to the reviews time!  
  
PinkDevil: I agree with you on the Sanquinex in leather part. Me and my genius mind for thinking that. You should try writing at 2 A.M. instead of sleeping, that's how I write my stories. Don't worry, I haven't ran out of blood pops yet, thankfully....   
  
Draconicality: *glares a EXTRASUPERULTRAMEGACONCENTRATED GLARE OF DOOM at Enrique and Oliver* Don't you dare hurt Robbie! *snatchs Robert* I haven't finished torturing him yet! And besides, he's my second favorite character. Johnny is first, Sanquinex is third.... COOKIES! *eats cookies happily, not bothered by the warnings*  
  
Silver-eyes Magican Girl: You love to laugh, don't you? I'm honored you're obsessed with my work.... For some dang reason...  
  
Tsunami Wave: It's my secret on how much sugar I put into the water before drinking it. Thanks too!  
  
Viper: YAY! MY STORY IS ON A FAVORITES LIST! *joins Viper in running around happily before stopping and continuing reviewing to the reviews*  
  
Heather_Moon: YES! IT IS I! THE ALMIGHTY AUTHORESS! MWUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!  
  
Chocolate and candies galore! YAY!!!!  
  
Tala: NO!! JOHNNY!! *snatches Johnny* Tala, in order to kill a kid in anger management need, you must use a rubber chicken and shove it down their throat. Or, that'll just get them screaming and choking before they cough it back up.... I know, leather is sooo fecking awesome! Oh and here *gives Tala a rubber chicken and a box of tissues before giving Johnny back to him*  
  
Darkphoenix: I'M UPDATING! I'M UPDATING! JUST DON'T TAKE AWAY WAWA AND SWUGA! *huggles glass of water mixed with sugar* Don't worry wawa and swuga, no one's going to take you from me. Not even the big men in white coats! You're alright!  
  
How to Review to a story.   
  
CLICK THE FECKING BUTTON AT THE BOTTOM LEFT CORNER OF THE PAGE WHEN YOU'RE DONE READING! THEN YOU ENTER YOUR NAME IN THE TOP SMALL BOX, AND THEN YOU WRITE YOUR COMMENTS ON MY STORY IN THE BIGGER BOX! THEN YOU CLICK THE BUTTON THAT SAYS SUMBITT YOUR REVIEW!  
  
Okay, that's our lesson for today class. Now remember, if you want to read more of this story, review. If you don't, I'll fail you in my class. Thank you and class is dismissed! 


	4. A Vampire's Thoughts

SORRY SORRY SORRY! I was worried about school and all that, and had writer's block that I completely forgot about the story!  
  
¿-¿ THE MOUSE IS SORRY!  
  
Disclaimer: Read Chapter 1 Disclaimer you idiots.  
  
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(Sanquinex's PoV........... Wow, a challenge right here)  
  
Gotta hand it to the kid, nice place.  
  
VERY nice place....  
  
Love the night workers...  
  
Those ladies back there were fine!  
  
Hmm.... I wonder where their rooms are?  
  
Don't get me wrong! I'm taken! Can't a guy have a little fun once in a while though?!  
  
I know it's cheating, but I can't help it!   
  
My..... How can I say this?   
  
Lupinex.... is.... my-my...........  
  
Okay, trying to tell myself that Lupe and I are..... are.....  
  
You know, it feels like there's someone listening in on my thoughts. Ever since I first got here. Which is totally wierd, don't you think?  
  
I mean, come on!  
  
Isn't it totally wierd that one minute, you're out feeding on this lovely lady and the next, your rival is laying on you dressed as a kid for once.   
  
It's like a nightmare I tell you!  
  
But a feeling inside me tells me that I'm not sleeping.  
  
....... When all this is over, I swear that Lupinex will have the best lay of his life when I'm through with him.   
  
I really just need to forget that all of this happen, get back to the guys and Lupe, and and just wipe this horrible memory from my mind.  
  
Maybe get Cenotaph and Zomb out of the apartment for a few hours... Just enough to let me and Lupe have some fun...  
  
Yeah right, Lupinex hasn't been the same since he mysteriously disappeared a few monthes ago and reappeared.   
  
Before that, we loved being together every day.  
  
Now... It's like he's changed.   
  
He barely stays in the same room with me, sleeps on the couch, and hardly speaks to me now.   
  
When I get back home, I don't care what it takes to lay him. I don't care if I even have to rape him at this rate, I REALLY NEED IT!  
  
Woah, that maid has one nice body.  
  
WOAH, that maid has one nice rack.  
  
NO WOAH! THAT ONE'S TO OLD!   
  
Well, not as old as myself.  
  
So I look like I'm in my early 20's, you're wrong.  
  
Try early 1700's.  
  
And that's like a child for a vampire!  
  
"Hey look! It's Robert's boyfriend!"  
  
"Yeah, I've heard he was hot, but not THIS hot!"  
  
"Look's like a trouble-maker to me," the older maid said spitefully at me. My oh my, isn't she pleasent.  
  
"Why hello there ladies, is this your grandma?" I asked, slightly glaring at grandma as the two younger and finer maids started giggling in their highly annoying voices. They're nice, but not my types. Their voices aren't... Well.... Non-annoying.  
  
"Excuse me Bri, Trista, but could you two girls let me have a small talk with this young BOY," Grandma asked, NO, commanded the other maids. The two teens just merely shrugged, and walked off. Leaving me alone.... With the old hag.... AND THEY DIDN'T TELL ME WHERE THEY WERE STAYING IN THIS DANG CASTLE!  
  
"What do you want, Grandma?" I asked, kinda pissed off at the raisin.  
  
"One, the name's Ms. Johnson. Two, what were doing with Master Robert out in the wood?!" the human raisin seemed to yelled at me. Geez, what a nice lady!  
  
"I was trying to rape him," I teased her as she, well.... Let's just say that you should never tell a maid of a rich prince that... Because.... Well..... Things weren't pretty.... Wait they never were with her in the room... Except those two maids...  
  
"YOU WHAT?!?! I SHOULD CALL THE LAW ENFORCEMENT OFFICERS RIGHT THIS INSTANT!!!!"  
  
"Hold it Grandma, I was just kiddin with you! I'm no rapist! I was out camping with a few of my friends and they ditched me!" I lied to her. I was never camping if you weren't listening earlier. AND I'M NO RAPIST!  
  
"YOU LITTLE PUNK! YOU SHOULD NEVER LIE TO A ELDER!"  
  
"I'M NO PUNK! I'M JUST SOMEONE WHO WAS DITCHED BY HIS FRIENDS OUT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE WOODS!"  
  
Okay, so I lied to the old lady... Again...  
  
"Okay, fine. But why was my Master Robert all dirty, bruised, and knocked out?"   
  
Damn.... This old lady wants a reason to hand me over to the police...  
  
"I found him like that on a path out in the woods. So I decided to carry him back up the path, that long distance, back to your kindness," I lied once again. But way more dramatically.  
  
"..... Fine. I'll let you pass this time BOY but if you're staying in this castle, you'll need to be clean!" she demanded, as she made a grab for my wrist. "And I don't care what it takes, BUT YOU'RE GOING TO BE CLEAN IN THIS HOME!"  
  
....... This woman scares me...... And I'm supposedly a 'Monster of the Night.'  
  
'She scares a lot of people.... SHE DOESN'T WEAR WHITE!'  
  
....... WHAT THE HELL?!?! THAT WASN'T MY VOICE!!!!   
  
From what my meals tell me, my voice is deep and seductive. Not... well.... high-pitched and squeaky.  
  
WHO IN THE WORLD IS INVADING MY PERSONAL SPACE?!?!?!  
  
.................. 'Oppsie.'  
  
Okay... Strange.... Little voice inside my head. I am going crazy.   
  
Yes I am, because for some reason the old lady is dragging me down a hall, saying something about a bath and fuzzy loofa sponges.....  
  
'This is going to be great. Got my video camera and everything ready!'  
  
Change from the title of 'Little Voice In My Head,' to 'Perverted Little Voice In My Head.'  
  
'Hey I take that as an insult! It's for a friend who's having a hard time decided wether or not to stalk and rape you!'  
  
My... That's very disturbing.....  
  
'Yeah, he is EXTREMELY disturbing. Especially with the whole getting his best friend to feck one of his workers idea... Wait, that was pure genius. Scratch the whole best friend raping someone else is disturbing thing, it's pure genius!'  
  
Who is this..... And I'm not asking you this, I'm demanding you of this!  
  
'Oh my, aren't you polite? Call me Fairie and it's my job to intrude on weak minded people such as yourself,' the voice insulted me.   
  
Oh my, aren't you a sarcastic bitch. Call me the bastard that wants you out of his head!  
  
'Can't, my Fairie senses are saying that I'm going to have the greatest porn video by the end of the week! AND IT'S FOR A FRIEND! Really, he'll love it!'  
  
WAIT A GOD DAMN SECOND! A GUY IS GOING TO GET THIS VIDEO?!?!?!?!  
  
'Oppsie again?'  
  
Noooo, I want the guy to be happy. Watching me take a bath with fuzzy loofa sponges, most likely talking to myself will make the guy really happy!  
  
'Can I try making a movie then?'  
  
I WAS BEING SARCASTIC!  
  
"Maybe a bubble bath would do your skin some good, boy," Grandma told me, finally dragging me back to whatever reality she was in.  
  
And that reality includes trying to rip my leather shirt off my body...  
  
NOOOOOO!!!!!!!  
  
"Hey! My shirt! STOP!" I basically yelled, trying to keep my shirt on.   
  
You would try to keep your LEATHER shirt on if an OLD OLD OLD OLD OLD OLD OLD lady was trying to rip it off!  
  
Must be one of Robert's great great great great great great great ancestors or something.....  
  
Oh man, I just insulted Robert's ancestors really bad!  
  
'Tell me about bad, I forgot the popcorn!'  
  
You're just loving this, aren't you?   
  
MY SHIRT!!!!  
  
'You sound like a girl!'  
  
The... old lady... took my.... SHIRT!!!!!  
  
"Leather? Boy, you really need a life. I'll get you some new clothes. Now I'll leave you to undress yourself and the bubble bath is right over there. Now remember, cleanliness is next to godliness!" that raisin told me before taking my shirt with her out of the bathroom which was quite large.....  
  
Is that a fountain?  
  
Is that a..... Fish?  
  
Is that a...... Turtle?  
  
IS THAT A DUCK?!?!?!  
  
'I think that it is a fountain, fish, turtle, and duck....'  
  
What, no alligator or shark?   
  
'They're in separate fountains two stories down.'  
  
................... Dang, Robert's rich......  
  
'Noooo, he stole it all...'  
  
Really?  
  
'Aren't we smart today?'  
  
I guess that's a no then.  
  
'DAMNIT! I ran of video and film!'  
  
Geez, to bad. And I'm still in my pants.... Film? YOU HAD CAMERAS?!  
  
'Sooo.........'  
  
How much film did you use?  
  
'Umm... Lost count after let's say 9?'  
  
.............. Are you one of those type of girls that are sooo into something that they loose themselves in it, not aware of the world around you?  
  
'Yeah, I'm also scitzophrenic, idiotic, super blonde, intellegent, tempermental, tramatized, and sometimes a little bit constipated or however you say it.'  
  
........... I shall not comment.   
  
........... Can you please get out of here, I need to seriously take a bath.  
  
'Fine, I guess I'll go talk to Robby....'  
  
Robby? What kind of name is that? Where the parent's drunk at the time they named him?  
  
'Dude, Robby's my personal nickname for Robert. You know, the guy who has the crappy name AND is keeping you in HIS castle!'  
  
Should of known. So what did he do this time? Pay you off to bug me invisibly? Pay you to get some lovely photos of me taking a bath? What?!  
  
'Dude, I'm just hired to get him something. And the photos are for my personal entertainment.... And you're not allowed to talk about Robby like that!'  
  
Why, afraid I might hurt his little feelings when you tell him!  
  
'No, I just know that he's super hot!'  
  
You're one strange little girl. Who would like ~HIM?~  
  
'I saw you blush when he smiled at you at the lake!'  
  
He..... Made me angry!  
  
'Ooooohhh! Hesitation! YOU LIKE ROBBY! YOU LIKE ROBBY!  
  
OWW! You're yelling in my head!  
  
'Geez, sorry. Well anyways, ADMITT IT! You think Robby's sexy... You want to hold him... You want to hug him... You want to love him...'  
  
SHUT THE HELL UP AND GO GET YOUR OWN HEAD!!!!!!  
  
'Looks like Vampie's in a bad mood today. Whatever, I'll be back later. I'll see you at dawn break! I gotta go bug Robby now! He's sleeping! BYE BYE!'  
  
I can hear her leaving now... Laughing like a maniac..... I think I should pity him...... Nah, let him suffer with the brat. I'm going to take my bathe.  
  
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xD Please don't kill me, anyone of ya'll. I've got enough threatening e-mails to last me a life time. I've already started on new chapters to all my chapter stories so please, STOP SENDING THE THREATS! Thankyou and have a nice day. 


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